Of all the virtues of education to India's middle-class, the ability to speak fluently in English is probably the most coveted.
Two stand-up comedians, Anuvab Pal and Biswa Kalyan Rath, have been quick to latch on to the comic potential of this obsession. As they both observe, mastery of the language affords a certain cultural capital that maximises returns both in love and at work.
In the clip above, taken from his show The Empire, Pal points out that Einstein could state his Theory of Relativity in India, but unless it's in English, he can forget about appreciation and just stick to driving the car. Whereas pronouncing the word "testicular", with just the right inflexion, is taken as a sign of excellent mental agility.
"Kya English hai, make him the Prime Minister," Pal jokes in his piece, commenting on the obsession with the Queen's language for aspirational Indians. Pal explains his clipped accent thus: "It's not my fault, I was born in Calcutta and no one told us the British left."
But even for those not growing up in Calcutta, speaking English was mandatory, and for some the language was a struggle. Biswa Kalyan Rath says he went to an Oriya medium school and even a "Hi" could have him breaking into a sweat. He goes on to establish an interesting correlation between speaking English and reproduction in India.
Another of Rath's notable observation is on the phenomenon of all Indians being experts in the art of drawing a "scenery". He paints a vivid picture of the drawing we all know oh so well. The standard pair of mountain peaks, the sun, a river, a house and palm trees are really the stuff that unites us.
Rath quips, "We have 29 states, 140 crore people, 1700 languages, one idea of scenic beauty." Watch the hilarious clip below:
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