The Scripps National Spelling Bee contest in Sheffield County, United States, is rudely interrupted by a man in a suit. “I am the new spelling judge appointed by the Trump administration,” he announces, “and I’m here to implement some new rules.”
A sketch by Funny or Die visualises a dystopian future where the Donald Trump administration’s lexicon – as displayed on Twitter, White House press releases and even election rally posters – rules, and English is nothing like we have known it so far.
“However the Trump administration spells a word is now the way that word must be spelled, effective now,” the new judge declares in this alternative reality, as he comes down hard on the confused participants and their parents. “Honored” should be “honered”, “attacker” must be “attaker”, “Theresa” May needs to be “Teresa” May, as the judge scoffs: “Just because Theresa May spells her name with an ‘H’ doesn’t mean she’s right.”
The smug judge explains the new order of things thus: “The President of the United States is the President of the English language.” The nail-biting climax does give us a winner, but at what cost?
Limited-time offer: Big stories, small price. Keep independent media alive. Become a Scroll member today!
Our journalism is for everyone. But you can get special privileges by buying an annual Scroll Membership. Sign up today!