Sometimes jokes on the social media get boring. In fact, more often than not it doesn’t take long for them to get more tiresome than distant relatives that overstay their welcome. Perhaps the most hackneyed and cliched are the awful quips about South Africa always struggling in global events when the pressure is on. Everyone thinks that their hilarious comment about the Proteas choking is original and cutting edge. They aren’t. There is literally not a single witticism that can be attempted that hasn’t been used before.
The correct thing to do is to declare a complete moratorium on them until such time as South Africa actually perform to their potential in high pressure matches in big tournaments. On that basis it could be that we never get to make one of those jokes again, and we should all be OK with that.
All of that would be easier if South Africa didn’t keep messing up must-win matches at ICC events. What is often forgotten is that they have actually won an ICC tournament. Way back when the Champions Trophy began in 1998, then given the catchy moniker of ICC Knockout Trophy, South Africa won the thing. The tournament consisted of nothing but knockout games, starting at the Quarter Final stage. South Africa beat England, Sri Lanka and the West Indies.
Then the 1999 World Cup happened, and Herschelle Gibbs drop a simple catch off Steve Waugh. The apocryphal story of the Australian captain telling Gibbs that he had dropped the World Cup was born and South Africa have never lived that down.
Since that semi-final defeat to Australia in 1999 the talk has been of South Africa as a group that are unable to cope with the most intense pressure. Of course, all of the players that were involved in the 1999 World Cup have retired, but the poor record in ICC tournaments continues. Since they lost that group game against Australia they have played 12 knockout games and have lost 10. The two wins, once against England in the 2000 Champions Trophy and then again over Sri Lanka at the 2015 World Cup, were quickly followed by heavy defeats in the next round.
The jokes about their record are unoriginal, but they have a very strong basis in fact.
The match at the Oval on Sunday against India was not a knockout match, but it was must-win. It was a group game but also an effective quarter-final. The winner would play in a semi-final, the loser was going home. And that was enough to make South Africa lose the plot.
In the first 15 overs they managed just 62 runs, and while they didn’t lose a wicket they were already going to have to accelerate hard to get to a competitive total on a flat Oval pitch. By the time Quinton de Kock was bowled by Ravindra Jadeja the run rate was up to just under five an over, but the pressure was on the new batsmen to get going. They needed to push hard for runs as soon as they got to the crease. They pushed too hard and lost both AB de Villiers and David Miller to run outs in the space of five balls. And the world laughed.
Those comedy efforts running between the wickets began a spectacular collapse that saw them lose eight wickets for 51 runs as they were bowled out for 191 on an excellent batting pitch. The wheels were coming off and could be seen rolling down the Harleyford Road towards Vauxhall Station.
India didn’t have to do much to win this game, but they did it well. South Africa presented gift wrapped opportunities and Virat Kohli and his men accepted them with alacrity. A par total was somewhere close to 300, South Africa didn’t even managed two thirds of that.
Defending 192, South Africa needed wickets. India are amongst the slower starters in ODI cricket, and this can lead to them being under pressure later in the innings. Here they had the licence to go as slowly as they wanted and it would cause them no ill effects. They scored 37 runs in the first 10 overs and still managed to chase down this total with 72 balls to spare.
South Africa’s fielding was as ragged as their batting. There was a run out chance in the second over and David Miller had all the time in the world to set himself and throw the stumps down. Shikhar Dhawan had given up. Miller missed, of course.
If South Africa were to have any chance of pulling of a miraculous win they needed take every chance. The tone was set and the Indian innings was just a procession. No pressure was created with the ball or in the field. It was an embarrassing loss for a team that went into this tournament ranked as the number one side in ODI cricket. South Africa were bad against Pakistan, they were worse against India.
Another big tournament is over and South Africa are going home early. The issue wasn’t talent so it must be a problem with temperament.
Anyone got any good jokes about something getting stuck in your throat?
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