An anthology of the Champions League can sometimes be simple: Arsenal-Ludogorets 6-0, FC Barcelona-Celtic FC 7-0, Bayern Munich-PSV Eindhoven 4-1, Real Madrid-Legia Warsaw 5-1. Goodbye then to the Glasgows of this world and welcome back to the Arsenals and Madrids, the uber class of elite football, for the round of sixteen.
What does the anthology tell us? The Champions League – the name is all but a misnomer after the competition’s expansion to 32 clubs in 1995 – suffers from a pervasive dullness, a repetitive numbing of the senses in the group stages and then again in the knock-out phase. In a simple equation, the Champions League offers a double dose of dullness.
Europe’s mega-rich vs the proletariat
The aforementioned results highlight an ever-widening schism between the European elite and the growing proletariat. PSV Eindhoven and Glasgow Celtic were never part of the great unwashed of football, but, in the machinations of global capital, they have become but insignificant entities at pains to compete with top clubs that have been buttressed by an influx of foreign money and spangled footballing personnel. They now operate in the limbic depths of European football, almost outcasts in Europe’s prime club competition, at best, puppets in the great narrative arcs that mega-sized clubs try to design.
When faced with the Messi-Suarez-Neymar trio or the combined talents of Arjen Robben, Robert Lewandowski and Thomas Muller, both Celtic and PSV scuttled, mortified by the adversity of facing footballing geniuses. They capitulated even before the game begun. Domestically, PSV and Celtic tend to dominate games with ball possession and attacking intent, but, once in the Champions League, they faced the reverse situation. Suddenly, they could not dictate the game as they did not have the ball - domestic giants turned into continental minnows.
From the 2018-‘19 season onwards, as the Union of European Football Associations feared a breakaway from the big clubs, Europe’s top four leagues will be guaranteed a spot in the group stage of the Champions League, with half of the teams participating in the group stages originating from one of those four leagues, hence enforcing the David-versus-Goliath storyline and further strengthening the grip of super clubs on the continental game. In the group stages, the Champions League is now a colloquialism for mismatches and that will not change.
Indeed, apart from Tottenham Hotspur’s elimination with their feeble recent European record and self-inflicting continental defeats, there were barely any upsets in the current edition of the Champions League.
A feeling of déjà vu for Arsenal
And so, on to the round of sixteen, another intriguing but familiar bracket. Paris Saint-Germain vs Barcelona and Bayern Munich vs Arsenal are the standout ties of the round, but even these games may be mismatches. For both the Parisians and the Londoners, a feeling of deja vu dominates. They have been here before and they know how the tale must end.
Under coach Unai Emery and with a Zlatan-sized hole up front, filled somewhat by a prolific Edison Cavani, PSG have experienced, or, at times, endured a transitional season, facing staunch domestic opposition from both OGC Nice and AS Monaco, and living with the ever-simmering fear that they may yet again not pass beyond the quarter-finals of the Champions League, revealing signs of a club from which the shine is beginning to fade.
In line with tradition, Arsenal were supposed to draw FC Barcelona, but in an ironic twist of fate, their top spot in Group A, courtesy of PSG’s nondescript 2-2 draw against Ludogorets, augured little better. The London club, who have been eliminated at this stage for the last six seasons, face another incubus with a tie against Bayern Munich. The German champions defeated Arsenal in the same competition over two legs in 2005, 2013 and 2014. Munich, however, are out-of-sorts under Carlo Ancelotti, but Arsenal’s delightful tendency to self-inflict defeat, often in slapstick fashion, may be enough to prevent them from progressing.
Can Pep Guardiola avoid tripping?
That would leave two other Premier League clubs in the hunt. English champions Leicester City, battling relegation at home, play Sevilla, while Manchester City and Pep Guardiola encounter in-form AS Monaco. Portuguese coach Leo Jardim has moulded Monaco from the principality into a formidable outfit, relying on a 4-4-2 formation, with all players working in harmony to obtain the desired result. It is banana skin for Guardiola to navigate, with tripping seeming almost inevitable.
The prospect of a Premier League club failing to reach the last eight is fathomable. Chelsea were the last English club to win the competition, defeating Bayern Munich on penalties in 2012. Since then the English challenge – clubs playing in the ultrafast, best and globally marketed league – has been limited, with Chelsea reaching the last four in the 2013-‘14 season, and Manchester City doing so last season.
City were then eliminated by Real Madrid, who have ever since kept on playing their strangely disjointed, but ruthless brand of football under Zidane, seeing them to the top of La Liga. They now begin their quest for a twelfth European Cup in earnest against Napoli. Come June in Cardiff, Real Madrid may well cement their continental hegemony, or can Dries Mertens and Marek Hamsik thwart their illustrious opponents and disturb a plot fine that feels all too familiar?
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