Mexican director Robert Rodriguez edited, wrote and directed his 1992 debut El Mariachi, and the only reason he said he did not star in it was because there would be no one to operate the camera. Rodriguez’s modesty is not shared by the self-declared “most versatile filmmaker” in cinematic history. Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh, the head of the Dera Sacha Sauda cult, has 30 credits in MSG The Warrior – Lion Heart, the third in his Messenger of God film series.

What can be said about a film starring a godman who cannot act or direct? There is little happening in the 118-minute film in terms of plot. MSG 3 is a series of set pieces in which Singh’s garishly dressed Lion Heart fills up every frame, parts the seas like Moses, and has more weapons that Batman’s utility belt.

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No one in the universe can stop MSG – certainly not a multitude of aliens dressed in costumes that glow in the dark or human armies that appear vaguely Islamic. He can lift elephants. He is immortal. His only goal is to save all the women in the world and occasionally, the cow. Much of the narrative is structured as a film-within-a-film that Singh screens for members of a secret organisation named Indian Lions. You will not find this on Imdb.com, but Singh was starring in and making films 300 years ago under the name Sher Dil.

The religious leader seems to be able to churn out his propaganda films at an incredibly fast pace, much to the misfortune of the filmgoing public who are not his followers. A sequel, Lionheart 2, is in the works, which the end credits promise is coming soon to a cinema near you.