‘Why you reside jovial in Dubai’: An open letter from Taher Shah

In the wake of yet another massive hit by Pakistani pop and Internet sensation, Taher Shah, we requested him to write a blog for Dawn.

The idea emerged when Shah published a truly insightful piece on his website explaining the philosophy of his recent hit, Angel.

We asked him to write a column for us on the various political, economic and social issues faced by Pakistan today. After much thought, he finally agreed.

So here it is. We proudly present a special blog by Taher Shah, written for Dawn. Happy reading.

Hello. First. I want to thanks Don Dot Commerce for spreading in front of me opportunity to put eye on Pakistan’s many many problems.

First. I want to put eye on recent issue of Banana Leak which has created turmoil and whirlpool in many many nations including Pakistan mankind.

Dear mankind of Pakistan, this very very serious issue of many many nations; but we must consider more of it where we reside jovial: i.e. Pakistan in UAE Sea part of Asia and Afghan north border, also some with China, some with Iran nearing Balochistan where already war clouds bursting rains which drowning peace.

What is Banana Leak? This profound, spectrum question being asked by mankind in Pakistan. Answer is complex. One must put pressure on mind, sit in corner under apple tree and heavily think. Answer will come soon.

I did same. Finally get answer when a papaya fall from apple tree and roll roll roll down grassy hill into Indus Valley Civilization River and made sound like baby bursting bubble from tiny mouth.

Then I stand up and walk in thinking pose and spread my hands up towards cloudy sky. Next moment I was in Makran Coast. I look fontal and my eye catch sight of sea. And there was there. Same papaya which had roll roll roll into Indus Valley Civilization River. Now papaya was in UAE Sea!!!!

So this how I get answer. Banana Leak is the offshore thing which many many important mankind peoples open to escape Texas. Now you understand?

Second. I will talk about me. Some people say I always talk about, me, me, me.

What angel to do if not speak of him that is me myself? But I not bother about negative citrus. I take it positively absolutely metaphorically even if some citruses is negative.

I love all because you all is me and you are I meaning myself mankind angel, la la la, la la la …

Third. I now spread views on habit of holding dharna in capital township of Margalla. Dear mankind of country on edge of UAE Sea and across lines of divide onward India and Afghanistan and Bukhara, why you do that? Why we not love one of other and other of another?

As my epic song of millions of social medium hits says, there is angel in every man and chubby boy and even in womans in white. We all angels. So why we always quarrel? I see quarrel and waterfall of salty tears burst from my eye to other eye and other of another.

Sad Flute Break. Tuuu … tuuu … tuuuu

Fourthly. Wel come back. Hand paining of typing on computer board. All issues of mankind can solved with love, peace, flute and apple tree. Love is soul of food, reaches eye from inner eye and heart beat like drum beating in area where angel in every man and woman and child kinds reside jovial and quiet.

Now. Fifthly. I write on computer board appeal to our many many leadershipkinds. First. Royal Prime Minister, Nawaz Angel. Greetings from humble hit pop star of world and Hollywood Boulevard.

Dear royal Prime Man, why you get skin of head change? I am blessed with lots of hairs on my head, but even when you only had just skin on head, you were royal and prime and suited ladder of poor heaven Pakistan.

Many many eyes on you looking of hope and believing big big things from your kingdom after giving you as many votes as they give me Youtube hits. You must deliver promise like sensitive doctor deliver baby. Keep in mind this.

Second. Mr. Asif Zardari Angel, leader of Pakistan Party of Peoples of poor heaven. Salam from common hit pop man of instant internet sensationalism. Dear fellow angel and leadership of poor mankind, why you residing jovial in Dubai Mall?

You born and bread and butter here in poor proud heaven, and you rule once as prestigious presidential post. Yet after you loose post in election you fly on Emirates Airlines flight EK-477 to Dubai Mall.

Now you not come back to save mankind of Sindh, Punjab, Balochistan, Pakhtunkhwa, Kashmir, Afghanistan and Bukhara.

Return turn, fellow elder angel with wide smile, or give full protein power to delicate son of soil, Bilawal, and retire to lakeside residence of old angel mans. Keep mind of this.

Third. Good morning in evening haze, fast balling Greece prince and captain master, Imran Angel. My head hair grew two to three three inch when you first jump in fire of politic championship in 1996 AD.

I tell myself then, because I only talk myself to myself, like eye to eye, so I tell myself to myself, I vote for him, that is you Greece prince Apollo angel.

But now I disappointed.

I vote many many times for your judgment party but all I get was talk, shout, talk, shout, and angry protestings and breaking things and winds. You are honest angel, fair Greece prince Apollo on Pompeii coin of ancient vintage.

This your strength, Imran Angel, not press conference, and speech and speech and fist in air and wind breakings with tricky TV ship anchors who all like Machiavelli of Mianwalli. Keep lock this in mind for glorious future tense.

Two mores. First. Altaf Bhai Angel. Why you shout loud like lightening cracking in monsoon sky on deep, dark night long, long ago? I scare of you.

When you come on TV screen, my room floor and wall shake like earthquake has come or slipper stuck in generator engine. But you are veteran leadership and Karachi mankind still put out chest and press love for you.

My advisory to you is simple: Give leadership role in party to other of another of some single being cosmic astronomy assistant mankind angel bhai. Okay? Keep advice of this in angry mind for continued Karachi kingdom.

Lastingly, janab pious angel that is ladder of jamat of whose name I have forgotten. Apology for this, pious brothers.

On poor heaven Pakistan, what have your party done? Why you peoples always angry about womanskinds and soul of food i.e. music?

Why always angry of things that make mankind of poor earth and moon happy and reside in jovial?

My advice: Have heart like jolly bull and smile like chubby child with yellow hair singing angel, angel on UAE golf course. Have this and see life become pleasant and flighty and light like rose petal full of dew in early morning city on YouTube. Keep in mind this and your blood pressure will becoming mud pleasure.

Ninthly. That is all I write for you in ghost blog. My fingers tired and bleeding longing for peace and blonde womankind in white dress.

Peace and love and rain of rose petals and lots of hair on skin of head to all.

You are all angels. Mankind Angel. La la la la.

(Flute).

This article first appeared on Dawn.com.