No majority sensibilities were hurt in the making of these plots.
1. The Man Who Flew and Swiped
In his spare time an ancient Indian sage from 16,743 BC invents the aeroplane. He forgets to put it down on the iPad he has also invented. To ensure that mankind is not deprived of his inventions, he is successively reborn as Leonardo da Vinci, the Wright Brothers and Steve Jobs. Along the way he fights off evil armies of rationalists and scholars who challenge his claims, scoring one sensational victory after another. The novel ends on a note of suspense over whom he will be reborn as next.
2. Belief Beyond The Faith
A man is born with non-Muslim genes. He is brought up in an oppressive, right-wing Western country – inexplicably, with a Left-leaning government – committed to being racist and Islamophobic, preferably both at the same time. The man decides to protest by living his life strictly according to the tenets of Islam, scrupulously following both the Quran and the Hadiths. However, he does not convert. He meets and neutralises, without actually killing, the six believers in free speech still left in the world.
3. Society for Compassionate and Responsible Expletives in Writing
A thriller in the form of series of taut conflicts between SCREW (see name of book) and UFOS(F) – Unapologetic Freedom of Speech (Fundamentalist). UFOS(F) seems to have the upper hand originally, but SCREW gets unexpected support from EEEE (Eastern Experts in Europe’s Extremism) and wins the day after a fierce war of words on Facebook and Twitter. All expletives are hereafter known as ex-pletives, and all books begin to be reviewed on a scale of sweetness from ASS (A Spoonful of Sugar) to DUH (Diabetes! Unlimited Honey).
4. The Rewriter
A boy has a near-fatal encounter with a bird who deposits a giant mass of excreta on him in retaliation for his poor drawing of the bird. Since that which does not kill us makes us stronger (Nietzsche), the incident ennobles the boy. He takes a childhood vow not to hurt anyone’s sentiments ever in his life. Discovering that others are doing it all the time through their books, he embarks on an epic journey. Seeking out fires in which books are being burnt, he plunges in courageously to rescue a copy, read it for himself, and rewrite it completely to purge it of all that can offend. In the process he is forced to remove every occurrence of the letter "i", for the pleasure of the Egoless Cake cult. He is hailed as a hero.
5. Good Heavens!
A scholar decides to turn her lifelong study of one religion into a book that offers alternative explanations of its holy book. Having written the entire book, she is attacked one night by a mysterious scorpion that emits rays from its butt. Overcome by the intensity of the attack, she recants quickly and decides that the only possible book she can write on the holy book is… the holy book itself. She spends the rest of her life reproducing every word in the holy book in a document. Her daughters complete her life’s work after her death by placing all those words in the correct order.
6. The Khap That Could
A Khap Panchayat in north India decides that enough is enough and issues strict orders to curb the loose ways of women. Men are empowered to use any means for subjugating women, including rape, maiming, and murder. A thriving industry in sack-making emerges in a sub-plot, manufacturing gunny bags which are considered the only fit attire for village girls. The men become so involved in keeping women in their place that they give up their life of regular crime. The Khap Panchayat wins the Nobel Peace Prize.
1. The Man Who Flew and Swiped
In his spare time an ancient Indian sage from 16,743 BC invents the aeroplane. He forgets to put it down on the iPad he has also invented. To ensure that mankind is not deprived of his inventions, he is successively reborn as Leonardo da Vinci, the Wright Brothers and Steve Jobs. Along the way he fights off evil armies of rationalists and scholars who challenge his claims, scoring one sensational victory after another. The novel ends on a note of suspense over whom he will be reborn as next.
2. Belief Beyond The Faith
A man is born with non-Muslim genes. He is brought up in an oppressive, right-wing Western country – inexplicably, with a Left-leaning government – committed to being racist and Islamophobic, preferably both at the same time. The man decides to protest by living his life strictly according to the tenets of Islam, scrupulously following both the Quran and the Hadiths. However, he does not convert. He meets and neutralises, without actually killing, the six believers in free speech still left in the world.
3. Society for Compassionate and Responsible Expletives in Writing
A thriller in the form of series of taut conflicts between SCREW (see name of book) and UFOS(F) – Unapologetic Freedom of Speech (Fundamentalist). UFOS(F) seems to have the upper hand originally, but SCREW gets unexpected support from EEEE (Eastern Experts in Europe’s Extremism) and wins the day after a fierce war of words on Facebook and Twitter. All expletives are hereafter known as ex-pletives, and all books begin to be reviewed on a scale of sweetness from ASS (A Spoonful of Sugar) to DUH (Diabetes! Unlimited Honey).
4. The Rewriter
A boy has a near-fatal encounter with a bird who deposits a giant mass of excreta on him in retaliation for his poor drawing of the bird. Since that which does not kill us makes us stronger (Nietzsche), the incident ennobles the boy. He takes a childhood vow not to hurt anyone’s sentiments ever in his life. Discovering that others are doing it all the time through their books, he embarks on an epic journey. Seeking out fires in which books are being burnt, he plunges in courageously to rescue a copy, read it for himself, and rewrite it completely to purge it of all that can offend. In the process he is forced to remove every occurrence of the letter "i", for the pleasure of the Egoless Cake cult. He is hailed as a hero.
5. Good Heavens!
A scholar decides to turn her lifelong study of one religion into a book that offers alternative explanations of its holy book. Having written the entire book, she is attacked one night by a mysterious scorpion that emits rays from its butt. Overcome by the intensity of the attack, she recants quickly and decides that the only possible book she can write on the holy book is… the holy book itself. She spends the rest of her life reproducing every word in the holy book in a document. Her daughters complete her life’s work after her death by placing all those words in the correct order.
6. The Khap That Could
A Khap Panchayat in north India decides that enough is enough and issues strict orders to curb the loose ways of women. Men are empowered to use any means for subjugating women, including rape, maiming, and murder. A thriving industry in sack-making emerges in a sub-plot, manufacturing gunny bags which are considered the only fit attire for village girls. The men become so involved in keeping women in their place that they give up their life of regular crime. The Khap Panchayat wins the Nobel Peace Prize.
Limited-time offer: Big stories, small price. Keep independent media alive. Become a Scroll member today!
Our journalism is for everyone. But you can get special privileges by buying an annual Scroll Membership. Sign up today!