Readers’ comments: As a BJP supporter, I too have lost many friends due to ideological differences

I am 24 years old and working in the IT industry. Since college, I have avoided discussing anything even indirectly related to politics with my family, relatives and friends (“After 12 years of Modi, I’m not sure if my decades-long friendships can survive politics”).

I found comfort in realising that I am not alone in feeling this way. At the same time, it also brought to the surface a fear that I now find myself hesitant even to meet new people because I worry that a casual conversation might unexpectedly turn political, putting me in an uncomfortable situation.

I keep telling myself that things will improve with time, but as the future gradually becomes the present, I find my hope growing dimmer. Thank you for sharing your experience with the viewers.

I wish Scroll would publish some articles on such topics which have some scholarly analysis and also some tips how to handle this. Thanks again for making me feel seen, and I appreciate your willingness to articulate something that many of us struggle to express. – Aryan Patel

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The author has perfectly encapsulated a facet of modern-day friendships that is becoming worrying. He writes: “Perhaps democracies decay because ordinary, decent people keep finding reasons to excuse it.” There is no “perhaps”, this is the crux of the issue. It would be desirable to seek potential solutions to this apathy, but that is far easier said than done.

I hope Mr Wankhede continues to focus upon the realities of this current political dispensation. There is, sadly, little hope of influencing his friends, in the same way I've resigned myself to be considered the “weird one”, but all things must pass, and maybe there will come a time when such reality checks will become more widespread. – B Das

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The way you narrated the developments of the last 12 years, I thought that you are ghostwriting for me. I too have a friend who supports Modi blindly. He is an exceptional person as a friend yet his devotion to Modi is creating issues for me. – Sharad Shinde

WhatsApp groups now battlefields

Six of my friends worked in Muscat and we connected again after nearly 40 years thanks to social media. Within a few months of the WhatsApp group being formed, friendship was divided by political parties.

Side by side, we were still discussing getting together again in Bangkok or Goa, and talking about the old days. But the forwards increased. The chat became and battlefield. Many left the group.

Some returned upon persuasion, but the rift continues. Now nobody talks about get together – Bangkok, Dubai, Goa are just dreams. The group is silent, broken only by birthday wishes. This is the story of many friends and family WhatsApp groups. Now “NO Politics” is pinned at the top of groups. God save these people. – Prakash Mirashi

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The space occupied by plain and simple human connections has been forever destroyed. At almost 70 years of age, I have just quit a WhatsApp group of my cousins because of the toxic posts that are shared almost daily. These are people I grew up with, who, like many Malayalis, made their money in the Gulf.

When one of them returned from Muscat, he says that he and his family check that they purchase everything only from Hindu shops. I was shattered. I thought Kerala was different, a melting pot of cultures. But no longer. Hope you find friends who respect friendship. – Sulekha Nair

Keep politics and friendship separate

Politics in India is immoral today. One way to keep to your friendship intact is to understand two things:

1. They are entitled to their views and you can agree to disagree with them.

2. The time you spent with them is more valuable them than anything in the world.

You have to let them know that disagreeing with ruling dispensation does not equate to sedition (among other frivolous things) but is just a different point of view. Being closer to them gives both sides a chance a to understand the other better. Who are we to decide what is morally corrosive when the nation is morally oblivious. – Vasudev Koneru

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As I understand, politics was, is and will be a dirty game. If you want to improve it, be on the ground and not in the commentary box. Otherwise, keep mum. Thanks, and warm regards. – Sanjay Deshpande

Don’t skirt hatred, bigotry

Morality and ethics are always an enduring part of any relationship, but that is rare as good friends. I liked your thoughts on politics and friendship. But you have nearly skirted the issue of hatred and bigotry that is central to the current dispensation and its disenfranchisement of Muslims and minorities as historical responsibility for the disempowered Hindus. – Sunil Banerjee

Author biased, seeing things wrong

Your concerns are genuine. My concerns are how you are not comprehending things correctly. You should check your social media and what you are reading, because your information seems to be sourced from the Left-Congress ecosystem.

India has changed, not thanks to Narendra Modi, Adityanath or the BJP but because of freedom of the press, multiple TV channels, social media and the threat global jihad and political Islam. You may dislike my comments, but I cannot help that. – JS Chauhan

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To the author – the problem is you. – Amit Awasthi

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I am a staunch supporter of the Bharatiya Janata Party and its present government. I have also lost many friends due to ideological differences. When I was young, BJP had only two seats in Parliament but its tally increased slowly.

During those days, we saw how Kashmiri Hindus were attacked and driven out without any reporting even by major newspapers and no action by the Central government.

It is disgusting to hear arguments about governance and tolerance. Indians were not allowed to visit Kashmir and now we can see the change since Article 370 was removed. Nothing can save Hindus like you. – AK Sharma

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Your confusion results from the lens that you are using to see events and people. Relax, things look worse than they actually are.

Forget about good or bad, moral or immoral or amoral, right and wrong – these are terms used by the powerful to silence the powerless. It is just an expression of people who have felt treated unfairly, cheated, betrayed and even dealt with contempt in the decades since independence.

India took a moral, inclusive and generous worldview but realpolitik worked against it every time. Be it the US or China, Europe or even the UN, in practically every conflict, India and Indians found themselves holding the short end of the stick. Material support went to Pakistan and India was delivered homilies.

Then came the ultimate betrayal, by one’s own government. So, the Indian Hindu learnt its lessons, for good or for bad that power is the only currency that determines who sets the rules of right/ wrong, moral or otherwise. It has set out to capture that power, consolidate and develop systems and institutions that will sustain it.

Global socio-political dynamics is identity-and power-driven today. Modi is just a result of time. I am more sanguine about India, its traditional values and destiny once these current uncertainties have resolved. Don’t judge your friends harshly, they remain the same underneath these differences. – Atul Chandra