Sunday book pick: A happily ever after with four cats for ‘Two Women Living Together’

“We live in a generation where the most common molecule consists of a firmly bonded woman and man. But in the future, we might see a more diverse range of configurations. For instance, in this house, we’re W2C4 – two women and four cats. And as of now, I’d venture we’re a very stable configuration.”

If you could, would you live with a friend? Imagine no financial constraints of early adulthood that force you to share strange flats with stranger roommates, no marital vows to fulfil, no filial obligations. There is only one condition – come and stay as you are.

To live with a friend is to make the ultimate commitment of love – I choose you because I want to; there are no social or legal ties that bind us together. I love you for who you are.

Becoming a W2C4 molecule

This ideal living arrangement is at the heart of the friendship memoir Two Women Living Together. Hwang Sunwoo and Kim Hana met on Twitter in their early 40s. They were both single and living alone. Sunwoo was the editor of a woman’s magazine and Hana, a freelance copywriter. They bonded over similar tastes in music and books, their pet cats, and their rejection of marriage. Both were financially independent, cool, and they loved their solitary lifestyle – there was no reason to trade any of it for the inconvenience of a man.

Though there is no explicit mention of the homegrown 4B Movement (no to sex, dating, marrying men, and giving birth), its philosophy seems to be influencing the modern South Korean woman who finally has the choice to live as she desires. Sunwoo and Hana also point out the disparity between men’s and women’s contributions to household chores – the average Korean man clocks in only 19 minutes per day. This, in addition to nagging in-laws and the zero-sum game of marriage, is making more and more women like themselves gravitate towards single or women-only living arrangements.

The friends have enjoyed their time alone, especially in their 30s. It is the sweetest age. But soon, neither can ignore the loneliness creeping up at unexpected moments; moreover, it is time to move into an apartment that reflected their age. Marriage is still out of the question. So, like every friendship’s greatest dream, the two women buy a house together for themselves and their four cats. And like every dream, this too is immediately met with a roadblock. They cannot apply for a joint loan. Sunwoo agrees to take one for the team, absolutely trusting Hana to repay the loan together.

The home becomes their haven and the friends quickly merge their belongings and settle into each other’s rhythms after initial hiccups. Like any couple, watching the other up close is shocking at first – Hana is a minimalist while Sunwoo is a hoarder, Hana is a clean freak while Sunwoo leaves her trail all over the place. They sometimes bicker about chores and each other’s irritating habits. In these moments, the solitary life calls out again, but like every true friendship, forgiveness is quick to come and the women readily recognise the value that the other adds to their life. As Sunwoo says, no matter what, they “never stop pinning [their] hopes on each other”.

Outside of the domestic space, Hana and Sunwoo even manage to complement each other professionally and in pursuing personal interests. Hana’s freelance career encourages Sunwoo to try out something new after 20 years in an editorial role, and Sunwoo’s fitness freak lifestyle makes Hana take better care of her health too. The friends learn to travel together, try new hobbies, and start podcasts and YouTube channels just because they want to.

The good days are interspersed with the bad. But in their case, the bad days have strengthened the friendship and not tested it. Sunwoo and Hana instinctively bind together during a health scare or when a cat falls ill, standing firmly by each other till the storm passes over. Once again, the reader is reminded that these decisions are entirely made out of choice, which is not always the case for partnerships through marriage or romantic love. While obligations underscore the latter, in friendships, selflessness trumps all inconvenience.

The personal is political

Hana and Sunwoo’s decision to live together does not exist in a political vacuum. The friends remind the reader that South Korea does not recognise same-sex marriage or households comprising friends or unmarried partners. This leaves them out of equal tax benefits and welfare support, and denies them rightful dignity. The conservative government has refused to broaden the definition of “family” or acknowledge the growing trend of women opting out of marriage and living by themselves. As partners who are not romantically involved, Hana and Sunwoo’s fight is essential to both queer communities and feminists. “Friend” is not an adequate term for what they mean to each other; a “life companion” is more fitting.

Two Women Living Together can be life-affirming for young women who are often made to feel inadequate or irrational for refusing or delaying marriage. Companionship is the most natural desire but it need not be limited to the deeply unequal institution of marriage. As more and more women join the workforce and have control over their finances, we might see a rise in “chosen” or “platonic” families, allowing women to be truly equal members. This got me interested in looking up the legal scenario of owning a house with non-related women in India, and wonder of wonders, there is no law preventing it. They are assured of the same benefits as any other homeowner. If anything, it makes for an excellent safety net to walk out of abusive marriages or families should a woman ever need to.

Two Women Living Together is a realistic, uplifting read that inspires women to imagine a full life outside of the motherhood–marriage mandate. What might growing old look like without a husband and children? Why, there can be cats, leisurely vacations, long dinners with friends, guilt-free pursuit of your favourite hobby… The list will only grow more exciting by the year.

Two Women Living Together, Hwang Sunwoo and Kim Hana, translated from the Korean by Gene Png, Doubleday.