For children: Best friends Faizya and Kalpesh pull out all the stops to win over Coach Dollar

“Nononono!” The two besties dashed towards the sign.

“Come on!” Faizya tried shaking it back to life. But it wasn’t an old mixie, so it didn’t come on.

“Start!” Kalpesh gave it a swift kick. And then another. But it wasn’t an old scooter, so it didn’t start.

“Think Coach will notice?”

“Like a red ball on the nose,’ Faizya replied.

“Do something, Zee!”

Faizya did the only thing she could. She tossed the cover back over the sign. “There. Now no one will know.”

“We should have skipped the grand launch, Zee,” whispered Kalpesh.

“No way!” said Faizya. “That would have looked way too suspicious.”

It was the next evening. Sporty wore a festive look – a fluttering canopy, fairy lights, marigold strings and satiny chairs with pink sashes. Coach Dollar was in his “uniform” – sleeveless jersey, loose shorts, long socks, fancy basketball shoes, a headband and wristbands.

JOSTLE! JOSTLE! JOSTLE went the guests.

POUT! POUT! POUT went the influencers.

CLINK! CLINK! CLINK went the servers.

WAVE! WAVE! WAVE went the mayor.

“Welcome to Sporty, the ultimate destination for sports lovers,” began Coach. “We offer something for everyone – from football fans to cricket champs to basketball buffs. On this special occasion, I want to thank all our members for choosing Sporty …”

“And making us rich,” crowed Penny.

“HAWWWW!” gasped the crowd.

“Hehe … I now request the mayor to unveil our new sign!” Coach said loudly, holding on to his smile with difficulty.

The mayor held the edge of the cover.

Kalpesh held his breath.

Faizya held his hand.

The mayor whipped the cover off.

CLAPS! CHEERS! WHISTLES!

Coach tapped his phone screen to turn on the marquee lights. Nothing happened. He smacked his phone, whacked his phone, shook it repeatedly. Still, nothing. Kalpesh gulped.

POP! The lights came on – slowly, very slowly.

Kalpesh breathed a sigh of relief.

In gigantic letters glowed:

Coach slapped his phone frantically and furiously, yet the letters “S” and “R” refused to light up.

There was stunned silence in the parking lot. Then everyone burst into applause – slowly, very slowly. Quite like the letters.

GUFFAWS! GIGGLES! HOOTS! HOWLS!

It was as if Coach had unleashed laughing gas on the crowd. The guests laughed so hard that tears rolled down their cheeks, their sides hurt, and they were quite unable to breathe.

CLICK! CLICK! CLICK went the phones.

The sign had actually started a photo frenzy, but for all the wrong reasons. The grand launch was a grand disaster.

Coach blew a fuse, just like the bulbs in the gigantic letters. “This stinks! My dream has gone down the toilet, but I’ll get to the bottom of this! I’ll flush out the culprits and wipe them off. That is my number two goal. You, dear members, will always be my number one. Thank you for pooping … uh, I mean popping by.”

ROARS! SCREAMS! SHRIEKS of laughter!

Excerpted with permission from Slam Dunk!, Vibha Batra, illustrated by Aindri C, Puffin.