This book is a sister’s tribute to her brother, an army major who died in a road accident at 31

After completing his tenure with the RR, Jeetu joined the NDA in the middle of January 2008 as an instructor on their training team. It must have been a matter of pride for him to return to his alma mater as an instructor. The gallantry awards were announced on 25 January 2008, with a lot of honours and accolades coming his way. After the investiture ceremony, Colonel Harjinder Singh as a caring senior, recollects cautioning Shatrujeet: “Kotwal, at such a young age you have achieved much. Shaurat (fame) should not go to your head. Be careful about how you handle yourself.”

Colonel Harjinder need not have worried; Jeetu was grounded with deep roots and the transient fame and glory would not have changed the kernel within. Biswajit, his squadron mate, remembers the personal influence Jeetu had on his life. “I had congratulated Shatrujeet on the gallantry award and great guns his career was going. To this, he had responded, ‘Thanks, Dash. But, I do not plan for long. Thinking too much about the future brings in anxiety. So, focus on today and also never fall into the trap of comparisons.’ This advice became the mantra for my life,” recalls Biswajit.

Jeetu fell into the rigours of his new assignment as an instructor with full passion. I distinctly recollect receiving a call from him in the middle of March 2008. I was at work and my brother wanted to discuss neurolinguistic programming (NLP). In 2005, I did a course – “Women in Leadership” – at the University of Bradford, UK in which Shakespeare’s Henry V was used to teach leadership styles. During one of his annual leaves, Jeetu and I had discussed this particular play: the use of language, gestures and the “royal face” that a king has to carry no matter what the crisis he is facing. Neurolinguistic programming is the practice of understanding how people organise their thinking, feeling, language and behaviour to produce the results they do. The formation of our unique mind maps of the world as a product of how we filter and perceive information absorbed through our five senses is the key element of NLP. Jeetu wanted to find the connection between NLP and my experience of learning leadership styles through Henry V.

Jeetu was always open to absorbing new ideas and also wanted to incorporate stories from the field in classroom teaching. Colonel Harjinder Singh remembers Jeetu discussing this in detail with him on joining the NDA, “Sir, in the 34 RR we have done a number of good operations as a cohesive team in a tactical manner. There are a number of stories which we should include in training pedagogy; it will add immense value. Cadets would benefit from learnings of live operations”.

Lieutenant Colonel Utsav, who was posted as adjutant, IMA, remembers: “I was in the fifth semester and Shatrujeet Sir took classes on army tactics. Apart from the theoretical aspects, his lectures would be peppered with his experiences and stories from the valley. These ‘on-the-ground stories’ resonated with the cadets and the classes were interesting.” The Lieutenant Colonel grins and goes on to add mischievously, “Shatrujeet Sir was also liked by the cadets as he did not believe in giving ‘punishments’ unlike some other instructors.”

I have quoted extensively from Jeetu’s letter dated 25 February 1995 wherein he gave a day-by-day account of his SSB experience. In the same letter, while describing his interview as “quite exciting and satisfying for me,” he also writes how the interviewer had asked him to name one quality in which he excelled and two qualities, which were his drawbacks. He wrote, “I answered confidence for the former and sensitive and emotional for the second one. Details afterwards.”

True, Jeetu had all these qualities. He was confident, sensitive and emotional. Dear Brother, I want to assure you that being sensitive and emotional are not drawbacks, these are the qualities that made you the wonderful human being you were.

Abha and Jeetu married in March 2004 but could only stay together for barely one and a half years – first at Ferozpur for a year or so and then six months at the NDA. The six months that they spent together in the NDA are imprinted in Abha’s memory: “Those were the best times. Shatrujeet was settling down after the hectic tenure with the 34 RR and was relaxed. I thought his health was improving and there was a glow on his face.” Vinkoo and her family had also travelled from Mumbai to visit Abha and Jeetu. Vinkoo recalls, “It must have been February or March 2008 when we had gone to the NDA. Entry is restricted and when we were about to reach the entry gate, I had to call up Jeetu. He was waiting for us at the gate, standing next to his motorcycle. For a minute, I could not recognise him. I am not exaggerating but he was looking ethereal and there seemed to be some kind of ‘aura’ around him.”

Vinkoo also remembers that trip to Pune with great fondness. “Jeetu had taken us around the NDA campus and to the swimming pool too. Both of us climbed up to the highest diving board where he pretended to push me down as he would do when we were kids. We also went to their observation post somewhere high from where we saw such a beautiful night sky.”

For Abha too, those six months were the most beautiful time of their life together. “He was fond of movies and for the first time in my life, I saw two movies back-to-back with him. We would go for long rides, have makki (corn) in the rain. We had bought bicycles and would cycle around NDA’s beautiful campus.”

Abha was twenty-nine years old when Jeetu passed away; she never married again. With her voice heavy with unshed tears she says, “We were planning for the future. Those six months were the happiest part of my life, my cup of joy was full. We had celebrated my birthday, a few days before the accident. What I had in this short time with Shatrujeet was enough to last for a lifetime. A whole life fast-forwarded and compressed in those few months of bliss. He was the most understanding partner one could ever have had.

“I am not an easy person to please and Shatrujeet has set standards that are difficult to match,” adds Abha wryly. During our visit to Khadakwasla in June 2023, Abha was keen that we visit the house where she experienced the greatest of joys and the most excruciating of sorrows. Abha, Kartikeya, Vinkoo and I went to the house, where a lady lieutenant colonel lives now. The house is a small colonial-style bungalow with red tiles, a small veranda wrapped around it in the front, surrounded by huge trees. Looking at the house, I remember seeing a framed photograph of Jeetu in Vinkoo’s house. He is in his uniform, sitting perched on the veranda railing with a luminous smile on his face. The picture was clicked by Vinkoo.

We walked around the house and I kept glancing at Abha to discern what was going through her head. What memories were flickering through her mind? Then she turned back and looked at us, pointing towards the window overlooking the veranda: “This is where the drawing room is. It has two bedrooms with a study. It is a small, compact house. I remember hosting a few parties here.” Apart from these comments, Abha, stoic as ever, did not show any emotion. We took pictures with the house and then in silence got back into our car. On our drive back to Mumbai, all of us were lost in thoughts, in our private worlds.

During one of our conversations many years ago, Abha had mentioned that she had placed a request on a radio programme to dedicate Rabbi Shergill’s Punjabi song “Tere Bin” to Jeetu when he was posted in the 34 RR. She had hoped that he would listen to it and she would be able to convey her feelings to her partner via radio waves. Sometimes you find the right song, the right poem, the appropriate lines to describe your feelings. And Abha had found hers in the song. The first stanza, “Tere Bin Sanu Sohaniya koi hornayo labhna, / Jo deve rooh nu sakun chuke so nakhra mera…” It means, “Without you my beloved there is no one else to be found who can give comfort to my soul and also bear my tantrums…”

Abha and Jeetu had a so-called Indian “arranged marriage”. Both the families knew each other previously – photographs were exchanged, alliance were formed. Abha was born in Jammu but her family, like ours, also has roots in Bhadarwah. Abha’s father, Satish Kotwal, who retired as chief engineer, was a deeply caring man with a stern appearance. He entertained no further discussion once a decision was taken. Their engagement was fixed in November 2003.

Excerpted with permission from Looking For Jeetu: The Story of A Braveheart Major Shatrujeet Kotwal, KC, Vinod Kotwal, Speaking Tiger Books.