‘To me, he will always be Gaggu’: Sidhu Moosewala’s mother remembers her late son

“He may be Sidhu Moosewala to the world, but to me, he will always be Gaggu. That’s what I called him when I held him for the first time,” said Charan Kaur. “His voice sounded so sweet. Of course, a child’s voice always sounds sweet to its mother but everyone who heard him speaking and singing compared him to the forgotten melons which once grew in abundance in Moosa. They told me his name and fame would spread far and wide like the sarda’s fragrance.”

There had been a time when villagers from Moosa grew sarda in abundance. These were quite popular and much in demand not just locally but also in places as far away as Delhi and Mumbai.

“Melons were to Moosa what oranges are to Nagpur. The fruit was known by various names. Sarda, sharda, kachhre and the local popular name, chibbadd. The city-dwellers call it kharbuja or melon,” said Dr Sukhpal Singh, a leading agro-economist of Panjab Agricultural University (PAU), Ludhiana.

Joginder Singh Mann, a journalist with the Punjabi Tribune, who covered the Mansa district for the paper, recalled how, as a child, he would feast on the melons and see traders from “big cities” coming to the village for an advance deal. “In Mumbai and Gujarat, the sarda from Moosa was always in high demand,” he says.

Perhaps some of the sweetness of the sarda of Moosa seeped into the voice of Charan Kaur’s young son. But the nature of the land was changing. The once abundantly grown fruit became increasingly scarce in the region, before disappearing altogether. Moosewala too was no longer just the boy with a sweet voice. As his fame grew, his lyrics changed into brazen boasts about himself and his caste – the Jats. He often threatened his enemies in his songs and made bold statements against the lack of tolerance of religious leaders. Perhaps it was the rebelliousness of youth, but Moosewala started to use his voice to talk about societal, cultural or religious norms that he found oppressive. His music became his cry for freedom.

Charan had always been a big influence on the singer. Moosewala had fond childhood memories of listening to his mother sing the Gurbani while oiling and combing his hair. In an interview with Punjabi actress and TV host Sonam Bajwa, Moosewala said, “Even now, my mother combs my hair before a big show. It is a bond every mother and son have, or should have.”

On May 14, Moosewala paid tribute to his mother on her birthday by releasing the song “Dear Mama” – his love and adulation are evident in each word of the song. The song revealed a tender side to the man whose entire public persona was otherwise one of unfettered machismo. In the song, Moosewala raps about how his temper is hot and can blaze like the sun, but at other times, he is calm and serene like the dawn. And when he is like that, he is just like his mother. He also reflects that he is, at times, angry at the world like his father, but then the calmer and more compassionate side of him prevails. He sings: Kade suraj wangu...tere warga aa.

Sometimes I burn like the sun
At other times I am at peace
Like the dawn
Mother, I always feel
I am just like you
Sometimes like my father
I feel angry at the world
But then, every time, like you
I, too, feel pity for the world
Some say my face is like this
Some say my face is like that
But my face is just like yours

Sometimes like my father
I feel angry at the world
But then, every time, like you
I, too, feel pity for the world
Some say my face is like this
Some say my face is like that
But my face is just like yours
Mother, I always feel

I am just like you  

Two days after Sidhu Moosewala’s funeral, Charan held her son’s ashes in an urn. The grief-stricken mother could be heard repeating to herself, “You’ve reduced my strapping son to ashes in this pot. You think you will get peaceful sleep?”

Later, Charan appeared in different videos at the memorial constructed at the site where the singer’s last rites had been held. “My son was an engineer. He could have settled anywhere he wanted, even before he earned fame as a singer. He rejected a Permanent Residence in Canada to settle in the village as he respected his roots. He loved his parents and loved mother earth. Someday he will return again...”

Excerpted with permission from Who Killed Moosewala?: The Spiralling Story of Violence in Punjab, Jupinderjit Singh, Westland.