The mystery has been solved: the MSG movies are designed as entertainment for members of the Dera Sacha Sauda cult in between prayer meetings and social service activities. We can imagine these propaganda videos disguised as feature films playing on a loop on screens at various Sacha Sauda centres, for only those who worship Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh can possibly endure his creations.

In the trailer for the third movie MSG The Warrior – Lionheart (two came out in 2015), the controversial cult leader has trimmed his wild locks and waxed his remarkably bountiful arms and armpits. His moustache has a hipster twirl, and there is an unmistakable twinkle in his eyes as he plays a secret agent who saves himself (but not us) from invading aliens that are straight out of a 1990s video game. A release date has not yet been announced. There is hope.

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The credits list the godman as “Saint Dr Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh Ji Insaan.” The doctorate is surely in filmmaking, since Singh has no less than 30 credits in the new production. Whether it is visual effects or dialogue or sound or publicity, Singh is everywhere. A sample conversation: “It will take hundreds of years to make this world safe.”

“But baba, how will I survive for hundreds of years?”

“You cannot, but you can go hundreds of years back in time.”

Perhaps Singh could be the audience for this film as well? How to be on both sides of the screen – now that is a miracle even beyond this deeply ambitious guru.